Strength
by Eclipse-Vamp
Summary: I can't understand," I said. "I can't bear this." I strode out the back door, walking away from my curious and worried family, hearing them ask what was up with me...Jasper's POV in Breaking Dawn when Bella becomes a vampire. Two shot, reviewer request.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I got this anonymous review for one of my stories here and it inspired me. The review said something like, "You should write Jasper's POV of when Bella becomes a vamp in Breaking Dawn." That review inspired me SO much that I just had to write this. This is dedicated to you, #1 twilight fan!**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine, but please enjoy! :D  
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Chapter One: **A Rather Odd Newborn

Bella's eyes opened. I could sense all the tension and anticipation in the room so much I felt dizzy. What I feared most would be the thirst and other emotions that came from Bella. Though all vampires had the same level for their emotional capacity, newborns weren't used to it and they were very _dangerously_ moody. My fist clenched and I pushed Alice farther behind me. Bella could get angry or very upset and try to attack us all. Or, in her desperate need to kill her child downstairs, hurt one or two of us while she tried to drain the whole city of Forks dry.

Everyone was holding their breath in anxiety as Bella's eye observed the ceiling she was facing. She inhaled and we all started breathing again. I did have to admit it, I enjoyed this. I didn't have to try to not breathe around Bella for she was a vampire now, nothing appetizing. I felt her confusion and thirst. Oh, there was nothing like a first thirst for a vampire. Nothing stronger. Bella's wasn't nearly as strong as what I remembered mine to be or other newborns' thirsts were. That's odd.

Edward gently squeezed Bella's hand.

_No,_ I thought in my head, but it was too late. Bella was thinking too much about her surroundings that she didn't know Edward was there. He had shocked her. Bella hissed and growled. She jumped up and crouched down. I grabbed Alice's hand, making my stature protective. Edward anxiously held his hand out to Bella. He was so conflicted: happy that she was finally one of them and he didn't have to thirst for her blood, and angry that he was being so selfish and had caused her to go through so much pain.

Bella finally looked at us and I tried to look as safe as possible for I knew my scars would be an issue. It could cause her to just attack me from out of the blue. Bella didn't seem to register me. I felt Alice's overflowing excitement radiate to me and she peeked around my elbow to look at Bella. I had warned her to be careful—Bella was unpredictable now. Even if Alice could see the future, Bella was dangerous to her. Bella's attention left us after a millisecond of studying us and went back to Edward. I felt her love come off of her as she studied his face. She straightened out of her crouch. Only a second had passed from when Bella had been frightened.

"Bella?" Edward said in a low voice. He was worried. "Bella, love? I'm sorry, I know its disorienting. But you're all right. Everything is fine." Bella was completely overwhelmed and I didn't even need my power to know that. You could see it clearly on her face. Edward carefully stroked her cheek. Edward raised an eyebrow, expecting Bella to speak. We were all anxiously awaiting to see how she would do when she opened her mouth. Bella instantly threw her arms around him. I felt Edward's pain. Bella was stronger than she used to be, that's for sure. Bella was confused about his sudden pulling away from her.

"Um…carefully, Bella. Ow," he said gruffly and Bella took her arms away. Bella didn't talk still, but she did mouth the word 'oops'. Edward smiled.

"Don't panic, love," Edward said and touched her lips. "You're just a bit stronger than I am at the moment."

Emmett was amused, as was I. Bella was the weakest of us when she was human, and now she was nearly crushing Edward. It was comical in a rather odd way. Bella was upset that she had hurt Edward. Alice was tugging at the edge of my shirt, begging me to let her go over to Bella. I sent a wave of disappointment to show her that it wouldn't be right to barge towards Bella. Alice poked the middle of my back in frustration. I smirked slightly. Desire rolled off of Bella and she was suddenly irritated. I felt like I was suffering a whiplash from al her emotions. Bella raised a hand and touched Edward's cheek.

"I love you," she said in a voice that was very different from the one of her human life. It was a lot more bell-like now. Edward smiled back at her.

"As I love you," he said and Emmett rolled his eyes. Edward pulled Bella's face towards his and gave her a kiss. Soon, they were swaying a little and I looked away, not wanting to invade their privacy. It was a little awkward, but, judging from Alice's emotions, she thought it was absolutely adorable. Our relationship together wasn't much about physical touch or showing affection publicly and I didn't quite understand why other people did show their love in front of others. It's not like you really _had_ to flaunt your love life in front of the entire earth. I guess that was only my opinion, though. Emmett cleared his throat and I shot him a warning glance. It could upset Bella. At the same time, I was glad they had stopped. Embarrassment shot off of them.

_Emmett and I have teased you enough, _I thought wryly towards Edward. _I thought you would've gotten over embarrassment in the eighties at the very least._

Edward chuckled and led Bella forward, keeping his hands around her waist. Edward had a smug smile on his face and I only figured it was because of his wife. He was proud to call Bella his.

"You've been holding out on me," Bella accused, her eyes narrowing. Edward laughed. All the emotions that came off of him made me wonder if he was going mad. He was so relieved that I was surprised he hadn't broken into song about it. He was also still guilty and angry at the same time.

"It was sort of necessary at the time," he answered. "Now it's your turn not to break _me_."

Edward laughed again. Alice was getting real impatient now and I was surprised she hadn't tried to be sneaky like usual and get past me somehow. Carlisle stepped around Emmett and walked toward Bella. I'm sure he wanted to know everything about her transformation. I followed him. Even though Carlisle was a skilled fighter, I'd be the only one to tell first hand by her emotions if she was going to snap. I'd be the best protector for this family because of my gift.

"How do you feel, Bella?" Carlisle asked, wary and worried at the same time. Bella hesitated for a sixty-fourth of a second.

"Overwhelmed. There's so _much_…" Bella trailed off, mesmerized by her voice.

"Yes, it can be quite confusing," Carlisle agreed and Bella nodded.

"But I feel like me. Sort of. I didn't expect that."

"I told you so," Edward whispered. It _was_ true. Bella was the most controlled vampire I had seen in my whole existence. There were a few that came close, though they had snapped when they had first smelt a human. She must've been one of those cases. She _had_ to be. Why was I getting so frustrated? I _had_ gotten my hopes up about Bella replacing my title as '_the weak one'_, but she would soon.

"Yes, you are quite controlled," Carlisle mused. "More so that _I_ expected, even with the time you had to prepare yourself mentally for this." Carlisle had convinced himself that Bella wouldn't be _too_ bad as a newborn vampire because she knew it was coming. I had to disagree. No one could really _truly_ prepare themselves for what being a vampire was like. Not even a human girlfriend—excuse me, _wife_—of a vampire.

"I'm not sure about that," Bella said. She was a smart girl and knew that she could just suddenly flip out and become one of the ravenous newborns I had once used for an army. Carlisle nodded. His interest was making me itch.

"It seems like we did something right with the morphine this time. Tell me, what do you remember of the transformation process?" Ha, the morphine didn't do a thing. Her pain had me wanting to rip my hair out and I made sure to stay as far away as possible from it all. Edward glanced at me. Oops. I had tried to spare him from becoming so depressed when Bella was changing by not letting him know how badly it was hurting her and blocking my thoughts. The cat's out of the bag. Edward was very tense now.

"Everything was…very dim before. I remember the baby couldn't breathe…" Bella answered. She cared so much for the thing. I was very against Renesmee at first, but she had grown on me in the past three days. Bella looked, frightened, at Edward.

"Renesmee is healthy and well," Edward promised. Pride radiated from him. He truly loved his daughter. Times like these made me wonder what it would be like if Alice and I could have a child. She had never really expressed interest, but sometimes she really did want a baby. I guessed all women had those moments. I didn't really care if I had a child or not—I had Alice. "What do you remember after that?" _Pain, pain, and more pain. _I answered for her in my head. I knew Edward was going to push her because he had heard my thoughts.

"It's hard to remember. It was so dark before. And then…I opened my eyes and I could see _everything_," Bella answered. She kept a good poker face on, I had to give her that, but she was definitely lying. Though Carlisle didn't know that. I wonder how much Bella's going to lie to him about her transformation because it could get out of hand, like all lies did.

"Amazing," Carlisle breathed. I didn't want to burst his bubble, so I just kept quiet. Edward might be the one to tell him if anything. Edward smiled gravely. He knew that she went through so much pain, but he was glad it was over. "I want you to think—to tell me everything you remember." Uh oh, busted. She was either going to have to lie more or confess. At least she didn't have blood pumping through her system to make her blush. Vampires were fantastic liars because we had so much space in our minds to focus on things. Bella's worry and fear nearly knocked me over, but Carlisle saved her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella," he apologized. "Of course your thirst must be very uncomfortable. This conversation can wait."

Bella's relief was instantly overpowered by her thirst and I went rigid. It wasn't very powerful—I could handle it—but she could go totally berserk on us. Bella's hand flew up to her throat, eyes wide.

"Let's hunt, Bella," Edward said and dropped his arms, taking her hand. Bella was nervous. I smiled just a tad. I tried not to remember my first hunt, but I couldn't. I shuddered unnoticeably, but Alice noticed of course. I caught her eyes and she looked at me with a worried expression on her face. I just tried to act like it didn't bother me, but I could never lie to her. She knew me too well. "It's quite easy, love. Instinctual. Don't worry, I'll show you." Bella just stayed in her frozen mask of worry. "I was under the impression that you'd always _wanted_ to see me hunt."

Bella laughed a short burst of laughter, still reminiscing in the sound of her voice.

"Shall we?" Edward asked. His emotions changed from light to heavy. "I don't want you to be hurting." He said in a low voice and I knew instantly that he still felt guilty about the transformation.

"I'm fine," Bella said. She tended to say that a lot. "Wait. First." What would she want? Tension filled the air again.

"Yes?" Carlisle finally spoke. I stiffened, prepared for anything. She really should hunt before the thirst grows. Maybe she'd kill the dog downstairs, though. That wouldn't be too bad. Though I can't imagine how he'd taste. Probably terrible because of his smell. If we refused Bella something, she could throw a big fit.

"I want to see her. Renesmee," Bella said. Not good. She really shouldn't do that. Renesmee had a beating heart and blood pumping through her system. She was still part human and she could smell good on occasion if you dug deeper from the vampire scent. Edward was torn between giving Bella what she wanted and protecting his daughter.

_Don't let her, Edward,_ I warned him, but he exchanged a glance with Carlisle instead.

"What?" Bella demanded. She sounded angry.

"Bella," Edward soothed, catching my observation. "That's not really a good idea. She's half human, love. Her heart beats, and blood runs in her veins. Until your thirst is positively under control…You don't want to put her in danger, do you?" Bella frowned, disappointed.

"Where is she?" Bella asked. We were all very silent and I heard the gentle beating of Renesmee's heart. Bella got thirsty again. I prepared myself yet again for her rampage that seemed to not be coming. "Is Rosalie with her?"

"Yes," Edward said. Rosalie was taking the role of aunt very seriously. Edward was upset that the dog had imprinted on his baby. If Bella's reaction was like his, we'd be in big trouble. Imprinting would be something mentioned in maybe a few years, when Bella was more capable of keeping her emotions in check. Though I wasn't so sure how we would explain Jacob still around and not at all sad that Bella was a vampire and didn't choose him.

"Wait," Bella protested. "What about Jacob? And Charlie? Tell me everything that I missed. How long was I…unconscious?"

He exchanged another glance with Carlisle. We hadn't contacted Charlie much except when he called and asked for Bella. I happened to be the one who answered the phone, though Esme normally answered it whenever Charlie called. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had to tell him that Bella was in Atlanta having some tests taken. From then on, he talked to Esme about how Bella was doing. Charlie didn't like me much—he was rather terrified of me—and always paid close attention to how I treated the rest of my family. Especially Alice. He loved Alice like another daughter and would have my head if I hurt her. He was very wrong and yet right at the same time. He _should_ be afraid of me. I was dangerous and if he knew what had happened at Bella's eighteenth birthday party, he would never let Bella talk to one of us again.

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered, knowing that we weren't telling her something.

"Nothing is _wrong,_" Carlisle explained. It was true—nothing _was _wrong, only very, _very_ strange. "Nothing has changed much, actually—you were only unaware for just over two days. It was very fast, as these things go. Edward did an excellent job. Quite innovative—the venom injection straight to your heart was his idea. Jacob is still here, and Charlie still believes that you are sick. He thinks you're in Atlanta right now, undergoing tests at the CDC. We gave him a bad number, and he's frustrated. He's been speaking to Esme."

"I should call him…" Bella murmured before shocked jolted through her body. "Hold on—Jacob is _still here?_"

Carlisle and Edward exchanged another glance.

"Bella," Edward answered quickly. "There's much to discuss, but we should take care of you first. You have to be in pain…"

Bella's thirst flared up again and she swallowed.

"But Jacob—"

"We have all the time in the world for explanations, love," he pushed.

"Okay," Bella finally allowed. Alice's emotions told me she had forgotten something, but remembered it just in time.

"Wait, wait, wait," she trilled and danced across the room to Bella. She was so graceful, even to our kind. "You promised I could be there the first time! What if you two run past something reflective?"

I smiled, remembering how Alice had bugged the heck out of Edward until he agreed she got to see Bella's reaction to her reflection. She was just so persistent all the time.

"Alice—" Edward warned, feeling annoyed. He wanted Bella's thirst to be quenched.

"It will only take a second!" Alice darted out of the room.

_I'm sorry, buddy, but I have to take my wife's side on this,_ I thought to Edward. _She's right—it will only take a second and Bella's thirst isn't too bad. Only slightly stronger than mine._ Edward sighed while Bella gazed around curiously.

"What is she talking about?" Bella asked. Before Edward could answer her question, my wife danced back into the room, carrying a huge mirror that was two times the size of her. I wanted to help her and I walked over to her, watching Bella carefully, my eyes never leaving her face. Alice moved very fast around Bella and even though her eyes could see all our movements perfectly, Alice could catch Bella off guard. I had to protect her. I felt Bella's shock as she studied me for the first time. She was suddenly scared and she tensed into a defensive position. It was quite funny how we were both wary of each other right now. I smiled wryly.

"Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding," Alice chirped and Bella's eyes moved away from me towards my wife. "I'm not going to be chewed out again."

"Chewed out?" Edward questioned, raising one eyebrow.

"Maybe I'm overstating things," she murmured before turning the mirror to face Bella.

"And maybe this had solely to do with your own voyeuristic gratification," Edward teased. I felt Alice's amusement as well as Edward's and couldn't help feeling happy as well. My wife winked at him. Bella just stared in awe at the mirror, and horror. She had seen her eyes. Alice was absolutely ecstatic and I was surprised she hadn't erupted into a bout of squeals yet.

"The eyes?" Bella whispered. "How long?"

"They'll darken up in a few months," Edward answered. "Animal blood dilutes the color more quickly than a diet of human blood. They'll turn amber first, then gold."

"Months?" Bella asked, stressed and appalled. I took a step forward, knowing her first tantrum was about to happen. I was ready to put a calm wave around her, but suddenly the stress subsided into curiosity. "No, I'm fine. It's just…a lot to take in." My brow furrowed as I tried to figure this out. No vampire had ever controlled their emotions _this_ easily. How did she do it?

"I don't know," Edward answered my question in a low voice.

"What question did I miss?" Bella asked and Edward grinned.

"Jasper wonders how you're doing it," he explained.

"Doing what?" Bella was still confused.

"Controlling your emotions, Bella," I answered before Edward could.

_I can speak for myself,_ I teased Edward in my head. "I've never seen a newborn do that—stop an emotion in its tracks that way. You were upset, but when you saw our concern, you reined it in, regained power over yourself. I was prepared to help, but you didn't need it."

"Is that wrong?" Bella asked.

"No," I said, my voice revealing some of its doubt. It wasn't wrong at all, but it was crushing my hopes of not being the weak one of the family anymore. Also, she still could suddenly loose her control and become a normal newborn any minute. Edward stroked Bella's arm.

"It's very impressive, Bella, but we don't understand it. We don't know how long it can hold," he explained. Alice's impatience flew around the room as we got sidetracked with Bella's amazing control.

"But what do you think?" Alice asked, pointing to the mirror. I wanted to smile at her impatience, but my other emotions were overriding it. That was strange; usually Alice could calm me down and make me feel happier at any given moment. Not today, I guess.

"I'm not sure," Bella danced around the questioned. She was terribly frightened at her reflection. She continued to stare at the mirror. Edward sighed. "Disappointed?"

"Yes," he laughed. Bella suddenly felt shocked and hurt. Alice snarled at Edward's remark and I leaned forward again, ready to save our family from Bella's attack. Edward ignored us, trusting Bella a little _too_ much for my liking. He wrapped his arms around Bella and pecked her cheek. "I was rather hoping that I'd be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own. And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head."

Bella was instantly relieved, but I wasn't. If she just hunted, she wouldn't have too much stress on her throat and she wouldn't be as likely to throw a tantrum as quickly.

"Oh well," Bella said. "I guess my brain will never work right. At least I'm pretty." Edward growled.

"Bella, you have _never_ been merely pretty," he said to her ear.

_Quit the lovey-dovey stuff and just take her to hunt!_ I shouted to Edward in my mind since he hadn't heard my previous musings of Bella's thirst.

"All right, all right," Edward sighed.

"What?" Bella asked, her eyebrows creasing together.

"You're making Jasper more edgy by the second. He may relax a little when you've hunted," Edward explained. Bella met my gaze and nodded, understanding that even though she was showing unrealistic amounts of control for a newborn she was still dangerous.

"Okay. Let's hunt," she agreed, getting suddenly nervous. Edward turned her around and faced her towards the window. "The window?"

"It's the most convenient exit. If you're frightened, I can carry you," Edward smiled.

"We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?" Bella questioned. She was very naïve right now.

"Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs…" Edward frowned.

"Oh," Bella said, realizing yet again that she was dangerous. "Is Renesmee…okay…with Jacob there? He doesn't like her much."

I fought back a smile. She didn't know how wrong she was.

"Trust me, she is perfectly sage. I know exactly what Jacob is thinking," Edward said.

"Of course."

"Stalling?"

"A little. I don't know how…"

I sent Emmett a warning glance. I knew that he would burst out laughing at one point in front of Bella and then she could attack. He nodded, pressing his lips tightly together.

"Watch me," Edward said and jumped out of the window. Bella tensed before jumping out of the window.

"Right. Easy," Bella smiled. Edward smiled back.

"Bella?" he asked.

"Yes?"

"That was quite graceful—even for a vampire," Edward complemented.

"_Thank_ you," Bella said and her pride floated into the room I was standing in. Bella slipped out of her shoes and chucked them through the window, Alice catching them as if they were made of glass. She put her free hand on her forehead and shook her head.

"Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance," she grumbled and I rubbed a soothing hand on the small of her back.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! There is one more chapter to go! Please review. No flames, please and thank you!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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	2. Chapter 2: Disappointment

**A/N: So, I normally wait until my copy of this story on Twilighted to update first, but I just got impatient (for those of you who don't know, short attention span = short patience) and BOOM! I have decided to post the second and final chapter of Strength. This is for my anonymous reviewer, #1 twilight fan, who gave me this idea. I had so much fun writing this. Anyhow, read on!**

**Disclaimer: I'm sure all of you who are reading have read a bunch of fanfiction and don't need to know that this story isn't mine, but I have to put this here. Who even reads these anyway? Well, I don't own it. I just borrowed Jasper to get inside of his head. NOT MINE!  
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Chapter Two: Disappointment**

I waited patiently for Edward and Bella to arrive from their hunt. They were standing outside now and Jacob was there, checking to see Bella's reaction to his scent. It made me restless. Jacob smelled more like animal than human so that wouldn't be very good. Also, he had that terrible werewolf scent and that repelled more than lured one in. Renesmee was a different case. Everyone knew that except the dog, who wanted to test Bella's restrain. He had no clue how more appealing Renesmee was than him.

"Renesmee," I heard Bella whisper and I was up on my feet, ready to guard my niece and family.

"Come and see," Edward said. "I know you can handle this." I shook my head. He really did have too much trust in Bella.

"You'll help me?" Bella whispered. At least she had some logic.

"Of course I will."

"And Emmett and Jasper—just in case?"

"We'll take care of you, Bella. Don't worry, we'll be ready. None of us would risk Renesmee. I think you'll be surprised at how entirely she's already wrapped us all around her little fingers. She'll be perfectly safe, no matter what." Jacob suddenly appeared in front of Bella.

"Are you _sure_, bloodsucker?" he demanded. "I don't like this. Maybe she should wait—"

"You had your test, Jacob."

"But—" Seriously, this dog thought Renesmee was his already and had totally forgotten that she had parents.

"But nothing," Edward said. "Bella needs to see _our_ daughter. Get out of the way." He growled before talking to Bella. "Shall we?"

Nervousness enveloped me as Bella and Edward walked into the house. Rosalie was gently rocking Renesmee while Emmett and I stood together; ready for anything that came our way.

"I was out just two days?" Bella gasped. I kept my eyes on Bella the whole time, hearing Renesmee move in Rose's arms.

"Yes, that's her," Rosalie murmured affectionately. Bella was mesmerized by the child and I knew that it was not just Renesmee's characteristics that caught her attention. She took a step forward and we all instantly figured she was going to attack. Emmett and I stood shoulder to shoulder, Carlisle and Esme taking our flanks. All of our hands out and ready to catch Bella if she tried anything tricky. Edward held Bella's arms behind her back and Rosalie and Jacob walked away with Renesmee to the back door.

"Oh, give her some credit," Alice trilled from behind me. "She wasn't going to do anything. You'd want a closer look, too."

Oh, my wife didn't truly understand the actions of a newborn. She hadn't seen what I had seen, hadn't raised a newborn at all. Bella wasn't really thirsty, though I don't believe she was breathing. Even though I could feel she was calm…well, you know the saying 'calm before the storm', correct?

"Jazz, Em, let us through. Bella's got this," Edward hissed.

"Edward, the risk—" I started before my brother cut me off.

"Minimal. Listen, Jasper—on the hunt she caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time…"

My eyes widened. Bella had killed people already. She knew the wonderful _taste_ of human blood which would make switching to the vegetarian diet very difficult. She could easily snap if she got too close to Renesmee. How could Edward call the risk minimal, then?! Part of me cheered. She wasn't perfect. She had already eaten a few humans on her first hunt. I nodded.

"Edward!" Carlisle exclaimed. "How could you be so irresponsible?"

"I know, Carlisle, I know," Edward said. "I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set her loose."

"Edward," Bella mumbled, feeling embarrassed. I studied her eyes. If anything, they had gotten darker by just a small shade. Eating humans was supposed to brighten the eyes' color. What?

"He's absolutely right to rebuke me, Bella," Edward grinned. My eyebrows creased together. Why was he smiling like that and clearly enjoying our curiosity? Bella had just _killed a human_. "I made a huge mistake. The fact that you are stronger than anyone I've ever known doesn't change that."

"Tasteful joke, Edward," Alice said sarcastically. What the heck was going on?

"I wasn't making a joke," Edward explained. "I was explaining to Jasper why I know Bella can handle this. It's not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions."

Had I jumped to a conclusion? What was going on? Bella's eyes weren't a brighter shade of red, she didn't smell like human blood whatsoever, and Edward had said that everyone had jumped to conclusions. I put the pieces together. Holy cow.

"Wait," I gasped. "She didn't hunt the humans?"

"She started to," Edward said, clearly enjoying himself. "She was entirely focused on the hunt."

"What happened?" Carlisle interrupted, his pride and amazement bouncing off every surface of the house. Even his happiness wasn't enough to stop my heart from sinking to the bottom of my stomach.

"She heard me behind her and reacted defensively," Edward leaned in, speaking animatedly about his pride and joy. "As soon as my pursuit broke into her concentration, she snapped right out of it. I've never seen anything equal to her. She realized at once what was happening and then…_she held her breath and ran away._"

"Whoa," Emmett whispered next to me. "Seriously?"

"He's not telling it right," Bella intervened, feeling even more embarrassed. "He left out the part where I growled at him."

"Did ya get in a couple of good swipes," Emmett eagerly asked while I felt the worst I had ever felt in my life. My one shot at being strong, yanked right away from me. I was so close…

"No! Of course not," Bella exclaimed, appalled.

"No, not really? You didn't attack him?" I didn't even feel like jabbing my elbow into his ribs and telling him to knock it off before she gets angry.

"Emmett!"

"Aw, what a waste. And here you're probably the one person who could take him—since he can't get in your head to cheat—and you had a perfect excuse, too." Emmett sighed. "I've been _dying_ to see how he'd do without an advantage."

"I would never," Bella glared at Emmett. Edward mock punched my shoulder.

"You see what I mean?" Right then I felt like crying like the little boy I was. I tried to keep my face calm and not let anyone see that.

"It's not natural," I said gruffly.

"She could have turned on you—she's only hours old!" Esme scolded. "Oh, we should have gone with you." Bella wasn't really paying attention anymore. Instead, she was leaning around me to look at her child.

"Edward," Bella pleaded. "Please?"

I stayed where I was, feeling stubborn. When I got upset, I shut down and only let anger show and I was really frustrated right now. How could Bella be that strong? I wasn't even that strong today! I am a one hundred and sixty-seven year old vampire who was _weaker_ than a two hour old vampire. My eyes stung as tears tried but failed to well up inside them. Why was everything so hard for me? Couldn't I have at least a break for once in my life? Alice's pain filled the air as she realized I was hurt. She shouldn't care for me—I was not a man.

"Jazz, this isn't anything you've seen before," Alice said quietly. "Trust me."

I looked into Alice's eyes and knew that I was going to have to give up. She could be just as stubborn as I and knew me far too well to know I was only blocking Bella because my life was completely unfair right now. I nodded and moved out of Bella's way. I put one hand on her shoulder, though, and followed her. This wasn't right. It had to be a dream. Maybe Bella would snap soon and things would be put back in order. Renesmee was getting fussy and then let out a wail. We all left Bella to see what was wrong. There was surely something terrible—Renesmee hadn't made a soon at all ever since she was born. Everyone was asking questions at once, fussing to see what was wrong with the little one. Rosalie was assuring Jacob and Renesmee placed her hand on his cheek, showing him what she wanted.

"See?" Rosalie said. "She just wants Bella."

"She wants me?" Bella whispered, shocked. Edward flew over to Bella.

"She's been waiting for you for almost three days," he explained. Jacob was getting more paranoid by the second, as was I, while Bella approached her daughter.

"Jake—I'm fine," Bella insisted and touched her child. I stiffened, waiting for Bella to attack. Bella gasped as Renesmee touched her cheek and showed her an image. "What…was…_that?"_ she choked out.

"What did you see?" Rosalie asked. "What did she show you?"

"_She_ showed me that?" Bella whispered.

"I told you it was hard to explain." Edward whispered into Bella's ear. "But effective as means of communications go."

"What was it?" Jacob pushed.

"Um. Me. I think. But I looked terrible," Bella blinked.

"It was the only memory she had of you," Edward said. "She's letting you know that she's made the connection, that she knows who you are."

"But _how_ did she do that?"

"How do I hear thoughts? How does Alice see the future?" Edward asked and shrugged. "She'd gifted."

"It's an interesting twist," Carlisle said. "Like she's doing the exact opposite of what you can."

"Interesting," Edward said. "I wonder…"

"I remember you, too," Bella said. She hesitantly pressed her lips to her forehead. _I_ had never even gotten that close to a human. My hands clenched into fists and I was ready to take Renesmee away from Bella before Alice interrupted me.

"She's fine," Alice murmured, giving my arm a gentle stroke. I let out a small breath and relaxed a little before Jacob's concern drove me insane.

"Haven't we experimented enough for one day," he blurted out. "Okay, Bella's doing great, but let's not push it."

Bella glared at him and her irritation level rose quickly. I prepared myself and shuffled over to Bella.

"What is your _problem_, Jacob?" Bella demanded. She tugged at her child, trying to pull her away from Jacob but he wasn't going to let that happen.

"Just because I understand, it doesn't mean I won't throw you out, Jacob," Edward hissed. "Bella's doing extraordinarily well. Don't ruin the moment for her."

Part of me was going for Jacob's side. Bella had to snap at one point, she just _had_ to. You don't know what it's like to never have been told that you have done 'extraordinarily well' once in your life. I wanted it to happen desperately.

"I'll help him toss you, dog," Rosalie said. "I owe you a good kick in the gut." Realization dawned over Bella.

"_No!_" she gasped. I clenched my teeth together. Edward held her back. Her tantrum was coming. She was going to snap. "Rose, take Renesmee."

Rosalie took Renesmee from Jacob.

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you, so please let go of me," Bella hissed. Edward hesitated. "Go stand in front of Renesmee." Edward let her go. Bella leaned into her hunting crouch and stalked towards Jacob. "You didn't."

"You know it's not something I can control," Jacob said defensively.

"You _stupid mutt!_ How _could_ you? _My baby!_"

"It wasn't my idea, Bella," Jacob said as they walked down the front porch steps.

"I've held her all of _one _time, and already you think you have some moronic wolfy claim to her? She's _mine_."

"I can share."

"Pay up," Emmett muttered to me. Drat, Bella was nearly about to hit him. I had figured she would've held it back a little and given him a big tongue-lashing first. I grabbed the cash out of my pocket and handed it to him.

"How dare you _imprint_ on _my_ baby? Have you lost your mind?" Bella asked.

"It was involuntary!" Jacob insisted. Two wolves appeared suddenly at his side. "Bella, would you try to listen for just a second? Please? Leah, back off." The wolves didn't move.

"Why should I listen?" Bella hissed

"Because you're the one who told me this. Do you remember? You said we belonged in each other's lives, right? That we were family. You said that was how you and I were supposed to be. So…now we are. It's what you wanted."

"You think you'll be part of my family as my _son-in-law_!"

Emmett laughed.

"Stop her, Edward," Esme said. "She'll be unhappy if she hurts him." No one made a move. A smug part of me crept up that I was ashamed of. _Finally,_ it cried out, _she's finally snapped._

"No!" Jacob called out. "How can you even look at it that way? She's just a baby, for crying out loud!"

"That's my _point!_" Bella shrieked.

"You know I don't think of her that way! Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did? All I want is for her to be safe and happy—is that so bad? So different from what you want?" Jacob shouted back and Bella just growled.

"Amazing, isn't she?" Edward murmured. Oh, she was something all right.

"She hasn't gone for his throat even once," Carlisle agreed with Edward, stunned. I turned to Emmet and raised my hand, motioning for him to give me my money back and give me the fifty dollars of his own.

"Fine, you win this one," Emmett said grudgingly and grabbed one hundred dollars from his pocket and gave them to me. I quickly stored them.

"You're going to stay away from her," Bella hissed.

"I can't do that!" Jacob argued.

"_Try_. Starting. _Now._"

"It's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard it was to be apart from each other? That's gone for you now, isn't it? That was her from the very beginning. We had to be together, even then."

"Run away while you still can."

"C'mon, Bella! Nessie likes me, too," Jacob pleaded. Bella stopped breathing as we all did. Jacob had gone too far. He had called Renesmee by her nickname.

"_What_…did you call her?" Bella asked slowly and dangerously.

"Well," Jacob mumbled, taking a step back, "that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and—"

"You nicknamed my daughter after the _Loch Ness Monster?_" Bella screeched before lunging for Jacob's throat.

I stood in the back, watching everyone in front of my unobtrusively. Bella was really guilty about hurting Seth. It technically was his fault because he moved in front of Jacob. She wouldn't accept that for an answer, though, and kept on beating herself up. Suddenly, there was a big tension rolling off of Bella and I decided to step in before it got to be too much. It was the least I could do for being selfish and letting Bella go through her whole tantrum.

"What's the matter, Bella?" I asked quietly, measuring her emotional climate. "No one is angry with you-" a snarl sounded from the riverside, contradicting me. I ignored it. "-or even surprised, really. Well, I supposed we _are_ surprised. Surprised that you were able to snap out of it so quickly. You did well. Better than anyone expects of you." I tried to keep my voice light, but I was sure there was some regret that fell out at the end of my sentence. Everyone was so proud of Bella. I was actually jealous. How odd. I didn't want to be in the spotlight at all, but I guess I didn't want people to worry about me. I wanted them to think of me like Edward or Alice—strong and no need to worry about the thirst.

"I was thinking about Charlie, actually," Bella admitted.

"Ah," I said.

"We really have to leave, don't we?" Bella asked. "For a while, at the very least. Pretend we're in Atlanta or something."

"Yes," I said gravely. "It's the only way to protect your father."

"I'm going to miss him so much. I'll miss everyone here." We sat in silence after that, Bella's eyes were far away as she mused over things. I just thought about my family. Esme, Emmett, and Alice were off hunting while Carlisle prepared things for Renesmee's check up. Rosalie and Jacob were on the front porch bickering about whose turn it was to feed Renesmee. Suddenly, Rosalie, Jacob, and Renesmee were inside and Carlisle came downstairs. Bella looked around, curious, as I darted to her side. Renesmee was in the house as well as Jacob. Bella could work herself up again to a tantrum again.

"Must be six," Edward noted.

"So?" Bella inquired.

"Time to measure Ness—er, Renesmee," Carlisle explained.

"Oh, you do this every day?"

"Four times a day."

"Four times? Every day? _Why?_"

"She's still growing quickly," Edward muttered. We all watched as Carlisle measured Renesmee. Bella was suddenly full of fear and I quickly focused my attention on her.

"What do we do?" Bella whispered.

"I don't know," Edward answered. I figured they were worried about Renesmee's aging. She was growing so fast that she could look like a ninety year old woman in a few months. Her aging was everything we were thinking about these days. Would she actually die? Or would she stop at some point and fully become a vampire? We had no idea and all the old myths that we had been studying didn't give us any clues as to what will happen.

"It's slowing," Jacob muttered.

"We'll need several more days of measurements to track the trend, Jacob," Edward reminded him. "I can't make any promises."

"Yesterday she grew two inches. Today it's less."

"By a thirty-second of an inch, if my measurements are correct," Carlisle murmured.

"_Be_ perfect, Doc," Jacob threatened and Rosalie stiffened.

"You know I'll do my best."

"Guess that's all I can ask," Jacob sighed. Bella's irritation level rose and I kept an eye on her again. Renesmee was irritated as well and she put her hand toward Rosalie and touched her cheek. Rose sighed.

"What does she want?" Jacob demanded and Bella was more irritated, my eyebrows creased together. Was she going to snap again?

"Bella, of course," Rosalie turned to Bella. "How are you?"

"Worried," Bella admitted sheepishly.

"We all are. But that's not what I meant."

"I'm in control." The whole room was suddenly tense, but I hardly felt it. I was focusing too much on every flicker of Bella's ever changing emotions, ready to warn Edward when she was about to snap. Bella gently took Renesmee in her arms and Renesmee put her hand on Bella's cheek. Bella gasped as she watched the vision her daughter was showing her. Edward was very amused as he read Renesmee's mind of what she was showing her.

"Oh, wonderful," Bella groaned at something in Renesmee's thoughts. "Perfect."

"It looks like she's going to give you a rundown of everything you missed," Edward murmured in Bella's ear. Edward continued to watch her thoughts and I felt his worry and horror and quickly held Bella's arms behind her back, Edward taking Renesmee.

"What did I do?" Bella asked, not fighting against my restraints. Edward looked at me.

_You were worried, _I thought, _I figured something was going on with Renesmee's thoughts. What happened? And why is she so in control now?_

"But she was remembering being thirsty," Edward muttered to me. "She was remembering the taste of human blood." I tightened my grasp around Bella, pulling her arms closer together. Remembering the taste was one of the worst things that could happen. I was surprised I hadn't really felt thirst from Bella or that she wasn't going after Renesmee right now.

"Yes," Bella agreed. "And?"

She hadn't been thirsty at all. Bella didn't even want Renesmee. How? What? Why? The frustration and disappointment came crawling back into me as my face fell. Bella was nearly as controlled as Carlisle. How was that possible?

"And nothing at all," Edward laughed once. "The overreaction is mine this time. Jazz, let her go." I let go, not feeling like putting up a fight. I felt eyes on me and I wanted to go away. Be alone or with Alice at the very least.

"I can't understand," I said. "I can't bear this." I strode out the back door, walking away from my curious and worried family, hearing them ask what was up with me. I ran over to the large river and lazily threw myself over it. I didn't care right now. How could I be so weak? Was I really the only newborn who acted in such a savage way? Were other newborns just as okay with control as Bella was? I remembered the newborns I had raised. They were pretty barbaric, but not as awful as I remember my first year was. Was I just a weakling? Some wimp of the vampire world? No vampire struggled as much as I did. I hit one of the trees that passed by me, knocking it to the ground. I grunted in frustration, burying my face in the ground and sitting on the forest floor with my back against a tree. Suddenly, I heard some footsteps approach me and I felt a hand I my shoulder. I looked up and saw Alice kneeling down in front of me with a sympathetic look.

"Hey," she whispered. I nodded. "It's not your fault, Jasper. You were _raised_ to act like that. Newborns may actually have more control than you think. You were just raised a lot differently than Bella."

I sighed and Alice brushed some of my golden hair out of my face.

"I wasn't in control when I was a newborn, either, you know that," Alice cocked her head to one side and made me look her in the eyes. "Listen, you may think you're the weakest of the family, but you're not. You are absolutely the strongest vampire I have ever met."

I grunted in disagreement and looked away from her eyes. Alice put her fingers beneath my chin and pulled my head back up, her eyes frustrated and serious.

"I am not kidding you," she said. "Even though you struggle with the scent of human blood, you feel everyone else's thirsts as well. That's not fair. You also were raised to want human blood. The point is, even though you have at least five extra thirsts beating down on you, you _never give in_. That's the noblest thing I've ever seen." I smiled a little, I guess she was right. "Now, let's hunt." She gave me a peck on the lips and danced away from me, running towards some deer. I quietly followed, grabbing her hand and feeling like a stronger man.

* * *

**A/N: I know you're thinking it, so I'll say it: AWWWW! Well, thanks for reading! Please leave me a lovely little review about what you think about it. I love each and every one, just please no flames. So, just take thirty seconds of your precious life and please review!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
**


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